• Belinda Lane

Discussion: 17 Minutes

Belinda M. Lane

October 28, 2022


Do we ever truthfully say how we are doing? You may be having a rough day and someone asks, “How are you?” Many times, the response will be “I’m good or doing fine”; when what we would really like to do is go somewhere and cry. There are other times when they will ask, how you are doing and keep walking, not hearing your response.


I was talking to a sister-friend who she asked me “How are you?” I explained what someone else was going through, the job and other things outside of me and outside of my control. When I stopped to catch my breath, she said “I asked how are you and you have told me about how everyone else was doing for 17 minutes.” Though it was nothing negative, it was about situations others were going through and the stresses they were facing. Again, all outside of my control.


How much do we focus our observation about life on others? Those who make their own decisions, choices of how to face what they are facing. And the component or makeup of their decisions you don’t see. Or what they have given to make a choice about their life… good or what we deem as bad.


We seem to get life in pieces we put together. Pieces of a puzzle. I’ve always enjoyed puzzles. I would start by separating the pieces by colors. The blues, I thought, were the sky and the greens for grass or trees. It always amazed me how only 50% would go where I thought and the other blue/green pieces go in the most unlikely places of the puzzle. So often when handed a piece of the puzzle to our life we think we know where it goes… it must go here, we believe!


Depending on what age you are, you may know by now your life isn’t automatic. But we still will try to make pieces fit or disregard the piece (s) altogether. It’s funny how we can look at someone else’s life and know we can determine where their piece goes. Not knowing whether their piece should be a part of the sky or the lake.


“How are you?”

  • · “I’m not feeling my best. I have got a lot on my mind.”

  • · Life’s good, I just got a promotion and now I can do a few things I’ve been wanting to do.

  • · I got an unfavorable medical report, but I can’t let my employer know because this is the time of year they lay employees off.

  • · My son/daughter just got accepted to the college they applied to

I believe we all have a destiny and we are here for a reason. The good things keep us encouraged and the unfavorable things keep us moving. It may not take you 17 minutes to say how you are doing, but at least you can answer the question focusing on you. Remember, if people don’t know, we can’t blame them for not caring, especially if we don’t provide information to base their response. Too many people are feeling alone or isolated, believing no one cares. The person asking could be the next piece to your puzzle. How are you doing?


Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!


(65) Helen Baylor - Can You Reach My Friend - YouTube

(65) Mervin Mayo sings, "You know my name" - YouTube

(Disclaimer: We do not own the rights to the music in this video)


Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Dial 988

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you

800-273-8255

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline: www.thehotline.org/

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone! https://www.welcomehome.celebraterecovery.com