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  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: Are you Living as a Victim or Living as an Overcomer

December 17, 2021

By: Jackie (Lady J) Miller

Everything can be taken from a man, but one thing: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way. To be a Victim or an Overcomer. ~ Viktor Frankl,

We’ve all experienced events in our lives where we are or were the victim. Things will inevitably happen to us that are beyond our control. You can be cruising along, minding your own business. Driving at a safe speed, or stopped at a red light, maybe even a stop sign, obeying the traffic laws. You still become the victim of an accident because of someone else’s choices… ie texting while driving, putting on make-up, eating or even medically impaired.

We are living in a time where violence is not just in the streets of inner cities anymore, it’s in the schools, malls and even the churches. This life is full of countless people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Causing them to encounter situations completely out of their control that caused them to become a victim.

When something happens and you find yourself in the position as a victim, though, it is easy to slide down that slippery slope of self- defeating behavior and blame game. It is important to realize it and face it head on. Don’t ignore it. It’s ok to admit something bad happened, and you had no control to stop it; however, you cannot stay stuck there. It’s important to take the time to shift your focus. You were a victim, but acknowledge that you are called to be a victor.

To be a “victor” you have to be an overcomer. We must be able to think and operate as overcomers, not victims. Choose to move forward and heal. When you’re in an accident and you find yourself hurt, you would immediately make the choice to get medical treatment, wouldn’t you? Well, you must treat your mental self, soul, your mind, and emotions with the same care that you would your overall physical body.

Speak Life. When you begin to speak life and encouragement to your spirit amid your trauma, you will feel different, think differently and react differently.

Remaining a victim or being an overcomer is all about the choices you make. A victim makes choices that keep them bound, tied up, emotionally, mentally and physically stuck. They find it easy to embrace that “woe is me” or “poor me” state of mentality.

Excuses are too easy. You can keep using them to dwell on obstacles or challenges, past and present. OR you can grab your life by the reins and take control of your future. Yes, it’s going to be hard, it might even be painful, but always keep in mind, you're worth it.

If you’re making excuses instead of creating the life you want, then you will never live a victorious life. An overcomer, victorious person is proactive and makes choices that will make their life better.

A victim focuses on outward pressures, while an overcomer focuses on inward confidence. Someone with a victim mentality only sees the surrounding problems. On the other hand, someone with a victor mentality will look within themselves to find solutions that will help them achieve their goals.

How do you know if you’re living as a victim or an overcomer?

Ponder these Characteristics of a “Victim” - vs - a “Overcomer”

Nothing is ever good, low self-esteem, victim Mentality, No personal responsibility for actions, Slave to sinful habits, Expectation of failure, hold on there’s more:

Waits for things to happen vs I can make things happen

Why can’t I attain my goals? vs How can I attain my goals?

Focuses on the negative vs Focusing on the positive

Makes excuses -vs- Finds a way

Blames others and situations vs Acknowledges responsibility

Never see the best in themselves vs Seeing the king or queen within

Creates obstacles for himself/herself vs Creates goals for himself/herself

Repeats mistakes vs Learning from mistakes

Finds faults in everyone vs Forgiveness

Impatient and burns out quickly vs endurance and patient, a long-distance runner in life

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)… NIV is the Overcomers mantra.

Why? Because with God on our side, we have choices and we can overcome any and every obstacle, but it’s a choice that will require work on our part. Allowing yourself to get caught on that “poor pitiful me” merry-go-round thought process of being a victim. Paralyzes us and keeps us from making choices to be proactive and to produce a change in our circumstances. Your current situation does not have to be your destination if you don’t want it to be. We have to take an active stance in overcoming. Our negative situations when they arrive and not remain stuck, wallowing in them and playing the victimized role, feeling that there is no way out.

I encourage you to take these words to heart…. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”… Romans 8:37-9:1 (NIV)

If someone or something is negatively affecting your life, your job is not to stop or change them. But to change you and your responses because it’s your choice not to be the victim anymore. That’s how you will remain in control. Stop giving away your power. Never, ever give your personal power to another person. Surely they will use it against you and you will never be free from the seat of a victim.

Today you have a choice, victim or overcomer. Which will you choose? Choose wisely. Your life depends on it!

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

Thank you for your support (Likes, Shares, Comments)

Thank you for your Support. A new writer has been added to the fridayatsundown4 platform for this week Discussion.

Resources Corner:

Victory Talk on Fridays Her life after the trauma: Jacqueline B. Miller (known as Lady J) shares her story is in her book Mosaics… Subtitle: Made from Beautifully Broken Pieces (this book is a collaboration of six (6) authors sharing their stories).

On the web:

Facebook: @victorytalk or

Twitter: @JackieLadyJ1

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone!

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