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  • Belinda Lane

Discussion: Can We Talk?

Belinda M. lane

January 13, 2023


Are you fatigued? Tired! Physically just out of it! Don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. May I offer you some food for thought? Where do you spend most of your day? Not physically, but mentally? What life are you living?


Wounded from childhood, or maybe we have suffered from unthinkable loss (whether physical or materially) along life’s pilgrimage. We mentally are seated inside our wounds and trying to maintain a way of life from there. While we seek to establish our life as normal, our wounds take precedence over our lives. It takes serious effort to survive in two places at one time.


Can we have a genuine discussion?


We blame our abusers for what they did to us. Inflicting actions on us that altered our lives. Introducing us to behaviors, manifesting a life we were never meant to live. Yet we live out loud even in our quiet time what they did to us.


The past leaving us behind as victims! Fear creates us as a victims. Pain trapping us. We run the movie in our head and our body relives the movie over and over. We live out the actions of the abuse inflicted on us. Years have passed and we still use the word “they” and not the word “me” as the one who continues to embrace the pain.


Years down the road of our life, we rest long enough to count the losses. Contributing it rightly so to the place it all got started. Never gaining enough strength to walk out of the wounded place. Never taking the responsibility or saying “I’m on my own, what can I do with my life”?


Can we talk? How much more of your life are you going to give to the person who’s no longer there? If the person is still there, what is it going to take for you to take your power back?


Can we talk? Are your daydreams focused on what could or should have been? What is blocking you from moving towards fulfillment of goals.?


Can we talk? What has hatred, revenge and not forgiving provided you? Has it costed you your life? I’m not speaking about your physical life because you are still breathing. I mean, has it caused you to experience a way of life in a manner you weren’t meant to live?


Can we talk? What will it take for you to be truly free? Who is being in debt to who? Who is hurting and are you always tired physically from mental exhaustion?


Can we really talk? Will forgiveness empower you to let go? Will release from hatred and revenge, free your mind and create room for peace (of mind). Medicine wouldn’t do it, merely giving maybe some temporary relief every 4 to 6 hours.


Can we talk? What has holding on gotten you so far in your life? Will being sheltering inside the wound continue to steal your life, causing you to live yet never to have lived?


Per Mayo Clinic: Forgiveness can lead to:


Healthier relationships

Improved mental health

Less anxiety, stress and hostility

Lower blood pressure

Fewer symptoms of depression

A stronger immune system

Improved heart health

Improved self-esteem


Remaining in the past where the pain is, is like what is called a Phantom limb syndrome. The ability to feel sensations and even pain in a limb or limbs that no longer exist. Both non-painful and painful sensations characterize phantom limb syndrome.


I have expressed to you about what I know to be true. As I had to let go, the losses I had were because I held on too long. Still, the joy I experienced as I moved forward, not that I have forgotten, but I don’t carry it as a part of me. I let go! Was it hard… Yes! Was it worth it… YES!


Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

Resources

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Dial 988

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you

800-273-8255

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline: www.thehotline.org/

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone! https://www.welcomehome.celebraterecovery.com

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