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  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: Coming from Under the Covers

Belinda M. Lane

March 11, 2022

Have you observed how we introduce ourselves to others? It is natural to say what I call, for those of you who following me, we lead with our covers. We accept this when we first encounter someone. Let create a scenario. You are in a group meeting of five attendees, I request each individual to share something about themselves, who they are.

Do we start with our job title, educational accomplishments and marital status… our covers? Or do we answer from within? Wonder what would happen if you responded, “Well, I’m a tenacious person. I work until I see I’ve achieved my best. I appreciate working with ones who are focusing on moving ahead in life. Alone time is something I enjoy. It allows me a space to reset, to refresh myself.”

A song by the late, great Nancy Wilson entitled, “I Have Never Been to Me”. Many walked out of their childhood as survivors and went into adulthood struggling to survive. They barely got to know self. Or better yet, has forgot self. I say this because whose birth was overshadowed by someone whose identity was obscured. The thing about survival and hustling and why we should be concerned about it is that there is no place of refreshment. No occasion to dream. The mind and body are exhausted. However, it is dreamers who contribute to society. I am not negating the contributions of one’s job as being rewarding and contributing to society. Still, most times, not all, this merely leaves place for self-preservation.

Another obvious factor is, there is no time to rest when surviving or hustling. Which can contribute to poor eating habits, inadequacy of self-care. Resulting for some with the body putting demands on them through ill health and disease or premature death, which is the last chapter of many.

I believe the Bible proved to help us with this… the Sabbath. One day that we can reunite spirit, soul and body as one. It's a day to get from under the covers and exhale, a day to say hello to self. To find out how we are doing with no names or titles attached. To take inventory with what is functioning and what is hindering us.

Couples must look at this not entirely as individuals, but also together. It appears too many are getting married, building from the outside first, before the two become one. After years of getting degrees, promotions, club memberships, they emerge from under their covers as strangers. I don’t want to lose anyone; I just needed to convey the importance of making certain you keep your true self awake in what you are doing. Divorce has become the norm for couples… there are statistics to prove this. Most marriages don’t last over 11 years, according to a national census.

On the CBS News Sunday Morning in August 2019, these were the following statistics: 1% Mass Killings, 30% Homicides, 60% Suicides and 9% Others. 60% suicides. I know mental illness plays a role in these figures, but I believe hopelessness dominates. According to US Today March 2020, there are over 128 suicide per day in the United States, attempted by people with and without known mental health conditions.

Now I realize that at the end of a week, this is what you don’t want to read. The goal of this evening, is I want you to hear, is to take time for you. Don’t allow all that is covering you to collapse on you. I want you to not only see your life working, but to enjoying a progressive life. Today, decide to stop and take some time to say each week to say, “Hello self.”

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

(12) Who Am I - Casting Crowns (w/ lyrics) - YouTube

(Disclaimer: We do not own the rights to the music in this video)

Resources Corner:

Crisis Text Line – Text NAMI to 741-741 Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message. National Domestic …

A 24/7 crisis hotline can be the first line of defense in preventing these tragedies and an essential part of any continuum of care for mental health crises. Since 2004, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) has been accessible nationwide by dialing 800-273-TALK (8255).

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone!

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