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  • Belinda Lane

Discussion: End of the Year Conversation... Now!

October 29, 2021 By: Belinda M. Lane

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since my birthday last month. I had to stop and define how I was measuring my successes and failures. To determine if I was looking at myself from my viewpoint or was I judging myself from someone else’s vantage point… of me? I had been restless about my progress in life and where I am now in life. This prompt me to talk to three individuals I trust for genuine conversation and safe talk about myself. Transparency! From my conversation with them, I want to share their words of wisdom. I will start from where I believe some people maybe in their own life. Especially, my 60 of age and older group. I encourage the younger ones to listen.

I want to speak to one’s (as I speak to myself) who may sit on the ledge with your feet dangling in the air. Looking out at the sky and wondering how did I get here or there. As you go through your mental files, nothing showed you this would be your place in life. The goals you set and the places you are right now; this was never the destination (not even close to where you thought you would be). You think about the accolades, degree, awards and certificates. Still, nothing prepared you for this now ledge experience. The printed photos you see now don’t show any snapshots of earlier photos you saw in your mind. The joyful echo you thought you would hear from your soul by now there is only silent.

Then there is the meltdown. You turn and look back at the fork in the road and declare to yourself; you took the wrong path at the fork. You can’t remember when the scenes of your life changed. Immersed in goals, deadlines, promotions and the ultimate one… New Year’s resolutions year after year. These vehicles carrying us through life. We placed our hopes, dreams, and desires, which were our energy, inside these vehicles. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m only talking to the ones in the Meltdown stage of their life. When did the scenery of what you mapped out change, without you noticing it had changed… until now.

Then the last one, “I’M TIRED!” For most after so many years working, everything can become tiring, from the body to the soul. The mind needs to rest. But this is only for those who want to. Many at retirement age get re-fired and still ready to take on life with new ventures. And many make some of their greatest achievements. Yet, there are those who at the “WHEW” in life.

Now, I want to address One’s Sitting on the Ledge, One’s Who had a Meltdown and the Tired Ones. If finding yourself on any of these stages, I pray you can hear what you need to hold on. I will sum up what they shared with me. The three individuals I trusted for genuine conversation and safe talk:

There are plans we have for our life and plans God has for our life. When these plans don’t seem to match up as our life in unfolding. We become discourage. All the while, it’s the same plan, because God has already planned out our life. What we cannot realize is the experiences will look different.

You're exactly where you're supposed to be... and you're exactly who you're supposed to be. You're absolutely perfect. (They have credited this quote to a past movie. But originally attributed the quote to Teresa of Avila “Trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.”

This came from a bible devotion that was sent to me. The nature of a dream is something beyond your own abilities, resources, and even talents. Your dreams sit outside your routine… as all dreams do. The journey toward fulfilling your dream gives opportunity for growth, learning, adjusting and developing yourself. This is the preparation path, so when you walk through the door to your dream–you are ready to live it.

Never lose your focus by what others think they see in you or say about you. See yourself from God’s vantage point. People have stopped and lost out based on others’ opinion of their life. Age is not a determining factor of when a dream will manifest. Neither is age an element of when you should reach your goals. Stay strong and know God has got you.

I have this saying on my nightstand that I recite “I am safe, I breathe freely and fully, I am safe. I trust the process of life. God, I trust you fully and know I am safe.”

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

Resources Corner:

Jacqueline B. Miller (known as Lady J) shares her story is in her book Mosaics… Subtitle: Made from Beautifully Broken Pieces (this book is a collaboration of six (6) authors sharing their stories). Her life after the trauma

On the web:

Facebook: @victorytalk or

Twitter: @JackieLadyJ1.

Psychological Trauma

GirlVictorious: Life After Trauma is a blog geared at helping women lead a meaningful, full, and victorious life after going through trauma.

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone!

Victorious Living Faith: Not Your Traditional Church - Home (Pastor Phillip A. Miller, Sr.)

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