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  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: I Came to the End of Me

By: Belinda M. Lane

March 10, 2023

I have found it particularly hard to recognize when changes in my life occur. Or as some may put it “When my season ends.”. In the last two and a half years, I have mentioned and discussed “Seasons of Life” in my blogs. During this time, I have posted words of comfort, relief and motivation to carry on and the significance of life changes. So often, when we are the encourager, we neglect ourselves. Let me pause and say, “I’m truly okay”. And for those who instantly began praying for me… Thank you!

Throughout the previous month, I have heard these words. I'm exhausted! I truly have heard the words of older ones say, I’m ready to go, but I’m the reason my family hasn’t fallen apart because I’m the peacekeeper. How heartbreaking that ones who have lived their life, but feel they have to still hold others together.

It is a far different world than we live in now, especially since the global pandemic in 2020. Cellphones have replaced relationships as they focus on several websites with something that border on addiction. I oba family of four seated in a restaurant while waiting for their order. The dad and two kids were on their cellphone and the woman sat looking out the window. On a different occasion, I read a review on the website of a restaurant I was interested in. A woman gave it a 1-star review, because they didn’t have (or it was down) Wi-Fi for her two (2) years old to play a game on her cellphone. I thought, how sad in both situations.

I say. I came to the end of me. Friendships that I believed would last forever ended. A few I recognized why. While others, I could only presume why. Despite this, I had to find my place of peace. It was with insight; I identified it was only a season. I will forever cherish those seasons. We filled them with so much fun, laughter and I will always believe full of love.

We all have a role, a purpose, while here. This will be my belief. For some, our life’s journey can take a sharp turn. The sudden unexpected change caused our heart to hurt, some tears and emptiness. I'm not referring to the death of someone, but the situation where two are no longer in step. I refer to ones we imagined we couldn't carry on without who has left the relationship. The relative or companion whose ear was reliably there, but now our words just linger in the air.

People are drifting away and for some, their world has become isolated and desolate. Apprehension has caused too many to end up not trusting anyone ever again. Persons have given up on ever believing true love will be a part of their life. This is when I think we arrive at the end of self or me. We depend on someone else, being able to maintain the hope and trust we have in them.

As we travel along our path, we give a little of our self (soul) to someone here and someone over there. We share a portion of ourselves with co-workers, a friend we met at an event (which became long lasting), at church or organization. We invest our trust and love and time. When that individual walks away with our investment, we stumble. Some stumble into not being able to forgive, some determine to never love like that again. To many it left a void within. And what do they do? It will depend on what they fill their void with. That will show who they are as they move forward.

Many will go into isolation or they will be angry. They will find they cannot gather the parts they believe the person walked away with. Parts of them they believed they needed to survive.

I came to the end of me just recently. As I sat and looked over the past twenty years and have had ones whose path took a sharp turn from mine. Truthfully, for a few of the changes of direction, it was devastating at first. I can’t say why, but recently I studied my relationships. I am confident I will always love them as they continue to pursue their own destiny. This is what I think dawned on me recently. Just like I have had to make sharp turns on my path to my destiny and knew where I needed to go in life. I had to respect that they did as well. As they arise in my mind, I think of the laughter, the sharing and caring with a smile. I’m grateful for the opportunity God gave us and how I got to share the gift of their friendship on my life’s journey.

We have been told “People come into our life for a reason or season”. We don’t really know which one. Appreciate the reason or season as a blessing. Always take advantage of the opportunities life offers you. Clearly, give yourself the opportunity to meet and embrace more beautiful souls in your lifetime. Be open to give others the opportunity to know you. Undoubtedly, we must learn to walk through life, being responsible for our feelings and trust as we release them to others. We are human and as humans as we go on this journey we will let someone (s) down. Life will come with hurts and love. Embrace when it's time and let it go when it's time. As the saying goes “Live, Love, Laugh.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 New International Version… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

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