Discussion: IT’S A GIRL. A FATHER’S TALE
June 17, 2022
Written by: Mesean Noble
Congratulations. “It’s a girl”. The very words that changed my life for the better, forever. Since I can remember, I’ve always had a high level of respect for women. And the highest amount of respect goes to my mother, who plays an integral part of who I am today. She instilled respect into my character without even knowing it. I am the one and only child of a woman who is just fifteen years older than I. Yes, that’s right! My mother had me at 14 years of age and bought me home from the hospital five days after her birthday. Throughout her life, she has endured so many trials and tribulations that weighed so heavily on her, that to this very day she struggles to enjoy the moments of life. Moments that truly are joyful, yet she doesn’t enjoy them without expecting something to go wrong. My mother told me stories that has sometimes and will continue to inspire my view on young women. Stories of pain and heartache, strife, and abuse. I can't imagine some of the things that she had to endure as a young woman. But yet she still endured, withstood, and persevered. Having a child at such a young age with little assistance is a story that so many young women face daily. That alone plagues my mind and spirit, and for me, it is very personal.
I remember the very day I found out that I was having a child. Along with all the nervousness and tension, I immediately panicked and thought, God is this real? How can someone who has had to grow up so soon with more responsibility than most people my age raise a child? Heck, I'm still trying to live out my childhood to this very day. That question and the subsequent thoughts continued to echo in my head for a while until the moment I told my mother. To me, it was the greatest moment I ever had to share with her my entire life on this planet. All those days as a child where I was there wiping her tears off her face, telling her not to cry. This time I did not have to because they were tears of joy. She was more excited than I was while explaining to me I would be a great father. Now time has passed, and years later I have been blessed in the role of father to four children. Thinking back to that day when my mom got the news that she was going to be a grandmother. And despite her earlier proclamation, I don’t know if I'm the greatest father to my children, but I try my very best.
I have a son that pushes my patience at times, yet that’s what young men are going to do while learning their way in the world. I’m sure I did. But I am also blessed with three little girls, one whom in which is not in my life due to circumstances that are out of my control. I pray that God one day allows me the opportunity to have that relationship with her. I never thought in a million years that I would not have any contact or relationship with my oldest child. The one who made me prepare for life as a father. I am a man of reflection and growth, and I will take more fault in the situation than I should. But I know that what is for you is for you. And when my lord says it is time, my daughter and I will reunite. In my current relationship, is my son and youngest daughter, along with my lovely wife.
My second oldest child does not live with me, yet this is her home as well. It sometimes is very difficult to not have my children all under one roof and live as one big happy family. Yet based on the decision I made as a young man and God’s plan, that is not my truth. I am proud of all my children every day and watching them grow is truly my gift from God. My son is becoming my little shadow, but my daughters and I share the most special bond that is almost indescribable. They are the reason for my strength, since they’re so delicate, that alone forces me to show a softer side. We as men sometimes don’t realize it until we are forced to, but showing our emotions strengthens us more than we could ever imagine. It allows empathy to enter our minds and hearts for those who the world tends to view as the weaker gender. When speaking from a platform of truth is the strongest.
My daughters have made me frequently, realize how precious the ability to speak life is. I am honored to be the father of young women. Sadly, this task, this job is something that we sometimes take for granted. Yes, we love our daughters, and we swear to protect them at all costs. But in reality, God has placed young women in our hands to directly influence the life in which she will come to choose for herself. Have you ever heard the saying that a woman marries a man like her father? The accuracy of this long running cliché is uncertain. Yet I do with one hundred percent certainty know that I am the example of what they view as the best man in the world. I may be flawed in many ways. And from my optics as a man, this is true. But to my daughters, I am their knight in shining armor, the one who they can always feel secure with. I focus on this every day as a measuring tool for myself. My wife will tell you I believe in chivalry whole heartedly. Though I saw no men holding doors, buying flowers and candy for my mother growing up. I surely saw what it looked like when her heart was broken by someone that she loved. This is the same heartbreak that my daughters will one day experience. I would be such a hypocrite to be mad at their partners if I didn’t help set their standards on what is expected by who they give their hearts to.
Women are the bearers of life, who learn to nurture from those who nurtured them. I thank God for my wife, who is an amazing woman herself. She challenges me to be the best man that I can be based on the strengths that her father displayed to her. I look forward to the proms and first dates of my little girls, while simultaneously dreading those same events. The precious relationship between my daughters goes beyond watching movies and spending time out together. I believe I am implementing an important structure of values and morals into their lives to assure them we as people should be beings of integrity and respect. How you carry yourself is how the world views you. And though we here at the Noble residence, don’t worry about the views and opinions of others. We respect them. I know that without a shadow of doubt my daughters feel dad’s love even when I'm forced to be stern with them. I think about what life could have been for me, just having a father to teach me life lessons. But at the same time, thinking about what a little girl experiences when she is forced to fill the void of love within her heart. When she does not get the chance to feel the love of her father.
I pray daily for God to order my steps in the correct direction as a dad. Guidance shouldn’t always have to come from mom even though ninety percent of the time it will, so don’t feel bad fellas. Being the father of little girls truly pushes me every day to be better because I know I am the one they are always watching. The way we talk, the way we dress and more importantly, the way we treat people is forever being observed. God has blessed me exceedingly and abundantly throughout my life, but I don’t think that nothing beats being a father, especially being a girl's dad. So, whether it is pretending to be a “Pop Pop” to a baby doll or. just singing silly songs with dance routines, I know deep in my heart that this is my everything. I pour everything that I am into my children and for my daughters. Everything that I aspire to be is fueled by their outlook on me. I thank God every day for the opportunity just to be in their lives. Now while I'm writing this, I realize that from here on I can also include in my prayers the very first time the doctor looked at me with a big smile and said, “Congratulations. It’s a girl”
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About our Writer:
Mesean Noble resides in Baltimore County with his wife and two of his four children. He is husband, father, minister, son, rapper and though he is an only child he has many brothers and sisters. He is focused and driven on improving himself and those around him. God has placed a mission on his heart that is only beginning to manifest. Stand by for what is yet to come.