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  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: “LOVE… It’s not what you say, It’s what you do!”

Written By: Jackie “Lady J” Miller

February 17, 2023

There is sooooo much to say about LOVE! We can talk about family, spouse, mother, father, children, and extended family love. And what about this campaign on the rise for a few years now, loving yourself and self-care? Yes, we all have been pushing for months to love yourself by taking care of yourself. Not saying this is not important, because it is.

LOVE is taking care of your family when they are sick. We know that when folks are not feeling well, it takes a lot of love to care for them; they are mean on occasions and can be unappreciative.

LOVE can hurt so badly; it can give you a pain like you have never experienced. And it can leave you broken, devastated, lost confused. It can lead you into a state of depression so deep that you can’t find your way out. With all the therapy that your insurance will pay for you won’t help.

LOVE comes at a cost. It has a high price tag and you must risk more than you have to gain for its rewards.

I wonder if we have lost sight of true love? Do we love others the way we should? Or are we blind to the reality of this problem in today’s society? I dare to say we’re afraid to love others.

There are many people who need support from others, but selfishness has blinded many of our brothers and sisters. Focusing on the “Me, Myself & I”. They say they want to love like Christ, but is it true? Personally, I’m tired of words, because love doesn’t come from the mouth, it comes from the heart. I hear more lip service than I see actions.

LOVE is not blind to what is going on. Love sees what other people do not see.

LOVE causes you to cry with others, sacrifice for others, forgive others, and to include others in your activities. I’ve noticed in many Christian churches today there are cliques, excluding others in negative ways. I find it disturbing how much the church within has become a reflection of the world. A loving heart avoids this mentality and seeks those who need love. A loving heart is bold and un-afraid to love like Christ. It doesn’t make excuses on why or whom it can’t love. It’s truly time for a change. Allow the love of God to change you, compel you to sacrifice to freely love thy neighbor.

Let’s walk the talk!

How to Love Others?

It’s sad to say that today’s Christians don’t know how to really love thy neighbor. Love has become more of something that folks casually say. Saying the words, “I love you” has become so cliché. You almost question its genuineness when you hear it. You can’t help but wonder does it comes from the heart. Love is not love if the heart is not in it. The old saints knew how to love without hypocrisy. They knew genuine love should lead us to humble ourselves and serve others.

Love should lead us to talk to others, even when it’s folks outside our core network. Yes, it requires sacrifice and stepping outside your comfort zone, but it’s so worth it. Love should compel us to sacrifice time and effort to sincerely get to know others. We should talk to the guy or girl who is standing by themselves because of love. Love should compel us to include others in our conversation because there is nothing worse than the feeling that you’re their topic of discussion. Love should compel us to give more, without judgment. Basically, it adds up to this, even though love is not action, love will cause actions because a sincere loving heart compels us to act!

We can come up with a million excuses for why we can’t perform simple acts of kindness. “I can’t. I’m an introvert.” “I can’t, I don’t have any cash or I only have a debit card on me.” “I can’t talk I’m late.” These excuses are tired and getting old.

I dare you to Pray, to love more. Pray to empathize with others more so that you may feel their burden and can help them identify a solution. Over and over, God blesses us with comfort, encouragement, finances, love, and more so that we can pour out these same blessings upon others. Let’s work to do just that.

Loving Others Unconditionally!

Love should be unconditional! Nowadays, love is a struggle. We don’t love anymore without strings attached. The world is full of what can you do for me- “quid pro quo”.

I detest the conditional love I am seeing today. Clearly, this is one of the main reasons for such high divorce rates. Superficial love is based upon finances, appearance, and what can you do for me now and it’s reflected in the relationship. When all the material gain has dried up, then so has the love. Genuine love never ends; it will continue to love until death. The love of Jesus persevered through the difficulties and hardships. Could you picture Jesus ever saying, “I’m sorry but I fell out of love with you?” I could never picture such a thing; in fact, I can’t even imagine it. We are to be imitators of Christ! Love should rule our lives. Is love leading you to go the extra mile like it led Christ to go the extra mile? Love has no boundaries or stipulations.

Today, I want you to examine yourself. Has your love been conditional or unconditional? Are you growing in selflessness? Are you growing in forgiveness or bitterness? Love can restore a poor relationship if you let it. Love heals brokenness if you want it to. Wasn’t it the love of Christ that restored our relationship with the Father? Wasn’t it the love of Christ that bandaged our brokenness and gave us an abundance of love, joy, and peace? Let’s all learn to love with the love of Christ not pretending or expecting anything in return. Love should pursue reconciliation with all our broken or strained relationships, if nothing else at least for your own sanity. I challenge you to forgive much, because you have been forgiven much.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Love Others As You Love Yourself

It’s only natural to love yourself. As human beings, we feed ourselves, clothe ourselves, educate ourselves, work-out our bodies, and more. Most people would never intentionally harm themselves. We all want the best for ourselves. Now, apply what you would do to yourself toward others. In your time of need, wouldn’t you want someone to talk to? Be that someone, for someone else. Think about others in how you would think about yourself.

Are My Actions Motivated by Love?

Love should motivate us when we do things. I must be honest; I’ve struggled in this area. You can always fool others, you can even fool yourself, but you can never fool God. God looks at the heart. God looks at why you did the things that you did. I have to always examine my heart.

Did I witness out of guilt or did I witness out of love for the lost? Did I give with a cheerful heart or did I give with a grudging heart? Did I offer hoping he say yes? Or did I offer hoping he said no? Do you pray for others expecting to be heard by God or to be heard by man? Take care to search yourself and your heart, letting love be the motivation for what you do.

“Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy.” - Thomas Merton

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

Talkin Bout (Love) [feat. Chandler Moore & Lizzie Morgan] | Maverick City Music x Kirk Franklin

(Disclaimer: We do not own the rights to the music in this video)

About the Writer: Jacqueline B. Miller “Lady J“ is a creative; energetic multi-facet Woman of God. As an ordained Minister of the Gospel, a Marriage Coach, Life Coach, Writer, Published Author and Virtual talk show host and personality you will find that she has a servant’s heart. Her life’s loves are found within her being a wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend. Though life has been traumatic at times she has endured and has learned to “Wait” on the Lord, who is her strength and to praise God in the midst of the storms.

CONTACT: Jacqueline B. ~Jackie “Lady J” Miller

On the web:

Facebook: @ victorytalk or

Twitter: @JackieLadyJ1 Instagram: JackieLadyJ1/ Jackie Miller Email:

Lady J

...."Don't allow your past to rob you of your future" …I can do all thigs through Christ who strengthens me…Philippians 4:13

#Speaklife #CarpeDiem #WalkinyourVictory

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