• Belinda Lane

Discussion: Step Upon the Platform of Clarity!

By: Belinda M. Lane

December 24, 2021


If you were to google the word clarity, these are some of the definitions you would find:

  • the quality of being coherent (clear) and intelligible (comprehensive)

  • the quality of transparency or purity

  • Word Usage: If you bring clarity to a situation, you help people see what happened by clearing up misunderstandings or giving explanations

The end of the year is approaching and for some there is an overwhelming feeling of expectation in the air. For others, the coming year will be like the rest of the previous years, another year. I would like to offer some thoughts of clarity to the ones who are excited and to those who do not care.


Have you ever look at something off in the distance and as you got closer, it didn’t look like what you thought you were seeing? We stand as adults looking back on our childhood. What do we see? For some, the trauma will still be very clear and for others, reaching adulthood will give you a more distinctive look. But for many, they are still too close. They can still reach out and feel the touch of what has been years passed. The hurts and the burdens.


Their adult person is still carrying the child who is still leading the way. Through the years, I have had to stand on the platform of forgiveness. I can say this is a hard place to stand from personal experiences. I also know there are ones who accepted my offered forgiveness and I will be forever grateful. Being on this platform will enable you to see above and over the past. It gives you a clearer vantage point. Some of us (including me) can make no sense of some of the things that happened in our life. Nevertheless, we can decide how to live at this point in our lives. As children who were in an unhealthy life with adults who were unhealthy, we daydream about the day we will be on our own. We fantasize about the life we will have in the future. Our self-talk is “One day I will not have to live like this. I will be FREE!”


We begin the journey on our own. We look back, not at a distance, but eye to eye at the childhood we said one day we would leave. Carrying the same feelings, childhood hurts, fears and anxieties, weighed down and dragging our adult life around. Nothing has changed. Life is the same. For far too many, their life has affected their children, who now dream of when they will escape from… You!


When you stand on the platform of forgiveness, it will cause you to see with Clarity. The clarity of being born to someone who was trying to make sense of their life. You will see the transparency of the weights you have been carrying around (for years). The misunderstanding and understanding of someone else’s life spread over you. Causing our life to spread over others, especially the part you didn’t want.


“Definitions from Oxford Languages: What is the true meaning of forgiveness? Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. ... Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.”


Forgiveness frees you of the attachment to the pain. It’s detaching yourself and your life from reliving the pain and hurt of the person you can’t seem to forgive. To not stand in forgiveness will bring the pain back over and over. Clarity, the platform of forgiveness! A look back at scenes which are now clearer, while some are not. Some scenes that have been proven troublesome throughout the years as we refused to step upon the platform. We don’t need mental proof to state the pain one’s body feels when years later they have a reoccurrence of the traumatic times in their life.


The actual person who causes the pain isn’t in pain, yet we refuse to let them go. We are stepping into a New Year. Let’s step upon the Platform of Clarity and Forgive! Start a new life for yourself. No matter how hard we try, we can’t even change the past 60 seconds. The moment we decide; we can start the change. For some, it may be a decision. Other it may mean therapy with a licensed therapist (I strongly suggest a Christian Therapist). Just knowing will not be enough. If this has been your journey, there is going to be work you will need to do in order to know where to go from here. Invest in yourself, utilizing time and money if needed. It’s time for freedom from the past and to live the life you were born to live!


The Real Risk of Forgiveness–And Why It’s Worth It | Sarah Montana | TEDxLincolnSquare - YouTube

(Disclaimer: We do not own the rights to the music and motivational speech in this video)


Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

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Resources Corner:

Victory Talk on Fridays Her life after the trauma: Jacqueline B. Miller (known as Lady J) shares her story is in her book Mosaics… Subtitle: Made from Beautifully Broken Pieces (this book is a collaboration of six (6) authors sharing their stories).

On the web: http://Vlfministrys.org/

Facebook: @victorytalk or https://www.facebook.com/jackie.y.miller

Twitter: @JackieLadyJ1.

Psychological Trauma

GirlVictorious: Life After Trauma is a blog geared at helping women lead a meaningful, full, and victorious life after going through trauma.

www.girlvictorious.com

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline: www.thehotline.org/

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone! https://www.welcomehome.celebraterecovery.com