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  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: Take A Snapshot of Your Life Right Now?

March 12, 2021

I remember talking to someone who shared how busy they were and the toll it was taking on them physically and mentally. Even though it had been a while, I can still remember the conversation. At the time we talked, the world hadn’t turned upside down with the events of today. The story came to mind (and as always; I love Google) and after research I found the story I want to speak from today.

A teacher walks into a classroom and sets a glass jar on the table. He silently places 2-inch rocks in the jar until no more can fit. The teacher asks the class if the jar is full and they agree it is. He says, “Really,” and pulls out a pile of small pebbles, adding them to the jar, shaking slightly until they fill the spaces between the rocks. Again he asked, “Is the jar full?” They agree. So next, he adds a scoop of sand to the jar, filling the space between the pebbles, and asks again. This time, it divides the class, some feeling that the jar is obviously full, but others are wary of another trick. So he grabs a pitcher of water and fills the jar to the brim. Then asked, “If this jar is your life, what does this experiment show you?” “The rocks represent the BIG things in your life. They’re what you will value at the end of your life–your family, your partner, your health, fulfilling your hopes and dreams. The pebbles are the other things in your life that give it meaning, like your job, your house, your hobbies, your friendships. The sand and water represent the ‘small stuff’ that fills our time, like watching TV or running errands.” Looking out at the class again, he asks, “Can you see what would happen if I started with the sand or the pebbles?”

If you are the one feeling overwhelmed, constantly tired, regretting things you have to do tomorrow, let’s talk. For some, I think I can help with a slight change in your conversation. The word “No” can be effective in freeing your time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I just didn’t know how to tell him/her No.” No doesn’t mean you are rejecting the person; you are saying no to the request. This frees them up to move forward in locating their Yes. I know for sure we can make life harder than it really is. If a person is upset because you told them no, it may be a good time to re-evaluate the relationship.

We talk about that person on the job who works so hard for a company (overtime, time from family; etc.) and unexpectedly dies. In a week someone is at their desk being trained for that person’s position. I especially want dad’s and single parent moms to listen. I know the weight many of you are carrying already, but our children are in crisis! Families are falling apart. Divorces are events which affect our children, sometimes well into adulthood. According to the New York Post on Sept. 1, 2020 article stated ‘US divorce rates have skyrocket amid COVID-19 pandemic’. Reasons stated were the combination of stress, unemployment, financial strain, death of loved ones, illness, homeschooling children, mental illnesses, and more putting a significant strain on relationships. The data showed that 31 percent of the couples admitted lockdown has caused irreparable damage to their relationships. (Per same article of New York Post). It would’ve been great if in the same article we read of couples stating the lockdown has been the best thing to happen to their relationship and for their family? Which has caused them to value their relationships and time more?

The statistics on child abuse and neglect were so overwhelming I couldn’t bring myself to post it. These children will one day be adults and I wonder how abusive parents cannot remember that and the damage they caused them. I heard firsthand as a counselor while listening to parents in need of help (almost in a desperate living condition). Their children refuse to even see them. I became the person hearing their confessions and how they treated their children. Now the children wanted nothing to do with them. What are we doing as human beings to one another? Imagine the pain you feel when someone in your family is shot and killed. Why would someone shoot another human being and put their family in pain? The pain I feel as an adult: if someone slapped me, why would I slap a child to feel twice the pain?

I’m so happy and proud of our churches who have made it a priority to get to know what is happening in the community. The churches who are offering clothing and have a food pantry for the community (especially showing care towards our street people). Churches demonstrating Matthew 25:36-40 (full chapter at end of Discussion). Churches who are working with Social Services in their city or county. Many of them are men and women who served and protected our country and have been forgotten. For those people, I simply say………. Thank you!

I’m asking you this week to slow down and take a snapshot of your life. Write all the things you do weekly (things you honestly have to do). Below is just a sample list. Please add to your list anything not listed below. Beside each item put one of the following, R for rocks, P for pebbles, S for sand and W for water to get an accurate picture of your life. No one is going to see this but you. There is no right or wrong way of how you are living your life. Just an evaluation to determine if you want to make any changes and where.

The rocks represent the BIG things in your life–what you will value at the end of your life–your family, your partner, your health, fulfilling your hopes and dreams.

The pebbles are the other things in your life that give it meaning, like your job, your house, your hobbies, your friendships.

The sand and water represent the ‘small stuff’ that fills our time, like watching TV or running errands.

  • Work: 8 hours with total commute time to and from work round trip one hour

  • Business Owner

  • On social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc.)

  • Phone Conversation (s)

  • Personal Email

  • Grocery Shopping

  • Cooking Meals

  • Laundry

  • Children (school such as checking homework, anything related)

  • Errands

  • Reading

  • Studying (if in school or taking classes)

  • Personal care for self (time of relaxation, manicure, social time with friend (s), exercise etc.

  • Caregiving (a lot of adults are caring for their parent (s) in some form

  • Church (Attending and/or active regarding position (s) within the church structure)

What did your Snapshot show?

Matthew 25:36-40 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

(Disclaimer: We do not own the rights to the music and motivational speech in this video)

Cat's In The Cradle - YouTube

'100 Black Men' welcome students back to school ( (This is a slide show (some ads are between slides)

Resources Corner:

Psychological Trauma

GirlVictorious: Life After Trauma is a blog geared at helping women lead a meaningful, full, and victorious life after going through trauma.

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone!

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