• Belinda Lane

Discussion: The Greener Grass on the Other Side

October 2, 2020


Mark Twain noted, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” I have consistently maintained that life provides us clues to the “Why”. We are not here blindly. Mentioning before in a separate discussion, how we will view our neighbor’s yard and marvel their grass is greener than ours. If you haven’t engaged in a conversation with your neighbor on the subject there is no way you could know what it took for their lawn to look the way seems.


You would never know the work, the treatments or cost they put into what resulted in the “beautiful” lawn. But in retrospect, did you ever consider your neighbor could look over your fence at your lawn and think, “I wish I could make my lawn to look like their yard.” We hear the saying, “another man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Something to think about when we are viewing someone else possessions!


What is it that leads us to search outside ourselves for someone else’s judgement of who we are (self) as failures or as being successful? Why do we need the mirrored reflection of someone else looking at us? Yes, it is good to have role models, mentors, coaches and others we respect in our life. Still, what do we do when the role model fails us; our mentors lifestyle is not what we hoped?


The reports on television and in the paper have exposed our heroes in their fallen state, the ones we look to for guidance in many areas. I stand by the roles mentioned above, along with the fact we have to first believe in ourselves. So when what is outside of us is no longer standing, Can we keep standing?


I will always believe in accepting the outside support, because we agree “no man is an island.” I have respect for the tribe and the surrounding villages. We must realize what we are composed of, as we only look at what a person displays to us. With the high-profile suicides over the past couple of years, I imagine they had mentees, fans and those who wished to be just like that person.


This is not to discourage you, but encourage you. During Polonius’ speech in Hamlet came a saying that you have heard many time in your life but probably not known its origins. That saying is “to thine own self be true.” I present to you that knowing yourself is being true to you.


We are in a different world than a year ago. As you regularly hear me mention, we are making tough decisions with uncertain results. We don’t know what is going on in our neighbor’s home and why his grass is greener. Those that suffer abuse behind locked doors; still they present a smile as soon as the door opens. But what happens when that door closes? How do we deal with a situation we define as a problem, versus something that merely calls for our attention?


Sometimes I think things we label or words we use are making the answer to the situation seem almost unattainable. Everything has an answer but we may not accept what it offers as the answer we seek or even feel it was best for us. Life will ultimately show us what we are composed of; I just think it’s useful for us to identify with who we are first.


Write out your five strength, then five areas of weakness. What are each based on, such as family traits or experiences (life lessons)? I am sure that most already know, but remember our world is different and we may need to sit with our self for a period and reexamine some of our strengths and weaknesses. You may find that a weakness has over the few past months has developed into a strength that you hadn’t realized. Just like we have an annual physical check-up, it’s necessary to have annual self-check-up.


Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe"


Jeremiah 11:29 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


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