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  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: The Only Way Out is Through!

Belinda M. Lane

September 3, 2021

As the world, has moved through a lot in the past year and a half. We have identified ourselves in an uncommon state of just struggling to be. Life has given us losses we hadn’t foreseen as coming this rapidly. We’ve lost our companions who we didn’t with no time to prepare for mentally or emotionally as not being there. Our parental support, fathers who were our pillar of strength, mothers who were our encourager, no longer in our visible realm. Along with parents losing children who they expected would outlive them. From the evidence, many around us have failed to exhibit signs of life. Smothered by sadness and the heaviness of grief, their days are one endless night.

Many losses didn’t occur from the Pandemic, but seemed heavier because of our world current condition. The church prayer lines and lists are greater, showing us the sobs and despair of our fellow beings. I recall a song from my youth “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven Cannot Heal” it is yet true. As we realize we all have an end date in this current body, that, nevertheless doesn’t make it easier. So how do we progress forward with our altered lives?

How do we endure when the familiar no longer exists? The reason I’m discussing this is that I’m watching and listening to how sadness and depression are steadily developing into the norm. I remember going to a Grief Counselor when my grandmother and mother passed within three months of each other. I felt paralyzed within. Prayer (much prayer) and grief counseling gave me the support I needed to go through. The thing about prayer is we, as Christians, occasionally think God has let us down when we lose a loved one. We pray, we fast and above all we believe and still they didn’t make it. How do you proceed forward when you think God has let you down?

Anger is running rampant in our society. People are shooting drivers for going around them in traffic. Anger! People are holding in the frustrations of life that will ultimately come out in some form. Anger! When there is not a control release from you, not merely do you suffer, but others will feel the sting of your suffering. Anger!

How do we go beyond? The only way is we go through. It can’t be that straightforward, you may question. What do you mean go through? The only way out is through! When anything happens outside ourselves, we understand. If it’s a burning building, we run out of it to safety. When physically sick, we go to the doctor’s or hospital. They hit our car; we take it to a body shop. We keep moving. If we stumble and fall, we get up. When things happen outside of us, we invariably do what we need to do and, as the saying goes, “by any means necessary”, we find a way.

We pull ourselves up outwardly, but inwardly, we allow certain things to keep us down. When my grandmother and mother passed, I was heartbroken. When my brother passed, it devastated me. I lost track of days, time and me. I was seven years older than he was and expected he would outlive me. He would be the one our family would look to (our head of the family). I had to determine the only way out of the gloom I had to get up in my inner self and walk. I had to walk out of the depression and celebrated him in my memory… his life.

Many in 2020 and 2021 have loss who they assumed they would outlive. Who they thought they couldn’t survive without. I shared where I was in my life to let you know, I know. And the only means out was through! I don’t know what through will be for you, but what I do know you will know when you get there. When you hurt emotionally, it takes work. I thought about it one day and knew this is not how my past loved ones would wish me to be living. Remembering how my grandmother and mother prayed for me. The faith my brother had of what he knew I could accomplish in life (he was one of my biggest cheerleaders). Thinking about the person or event (s) in your life and had it been the reverse. Would you wish the person (s) to move forward or remain in the place of sadness or inner paralysis?

There is a plan for each of us. Life is coming in ways some of us couldn’t begin to imagine… good and rough. Inside of all of us is a “go through”. It automatically equips us to keep going. Our life's goal and purpose are still alive, because we are alive. I assure you, if you stand up and put one foot in front of the other, if you tuck their memory into your heart. If you elect to be thankful for the shared time you had, you will make it through.

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

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Resources Corner:

Psychological Trauma

GirlVictorious: Life After Trauma is a blog geared at helping women lead a meaningful, full, and victorious life after going through trauma.

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone!

Victorious Living Faith: Not Your Traditional Church - Home (Pastor Phillip A. Miller, Sr.)

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