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  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: Valentine’s Day

By: J Anthony Spencer

February 10, 2023

Valentine’s Day historically originated as a Christian Feast day in the third century honoring possibly one or two Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine*. The more modern roots of Valentine’s day started in 1797 when a British publisher issued The Young Man’s Valentine Writer. Which contained dozens of suggested sentimental verses for the young lover who could not compose his own**. I won’t go further into how when you fast forward it becomes more of a holiday, both in observance of love and of commerce. I can be a romantic on most occasions, but I know it more about marketing and sales. Not that I ignore the holiday totally.

An old friend of mine informed me years ago that she doesn’t observe the holiday and makes sure that whomever she is involved with knows her feelings on the matter. Now, her non-observance isn’t so much about the marketing aspect, then it is about her belief that if someone loves you, then every day should be a celebration of that love. When I thought about it, I understood the point that she made. It takes willpower to live that lifestyle and applaud that she has stood on this belief for years. I admit I’m not privy to what this has meant to the men in her life. Nevertheless, she was a good friend and I’m sure those gentlemen would attempt to understand.

While I don’t think, I embrace it fully because I am open to buying gifts for my better half. The lifestyle of a gentleman is what I adopt. I open doors (car and entry); I walk on the outside when we walk down the street. I walk beside her, not in front. When in a restaurant I pay for our meals, unless she is treating me for an occasion (birthday or Father’s Day). Even then, it feels funny to sit while she pays. I was raised to respect women, and treat them like the queens they are. This is for all the women in my life. Just recently my goddaughter (a light in my life) called me to say how proud I would be of her son. I found out recently he’s started dating, but imagine my surprise when she informed me he opened the car door for her to get in. Just like his Uncle Anthony. You never know when a young person is looking at you. That is why we must always be the best we can be.

Unlike my friend, I’m not saying you should disregard the day altogether. What I am saying is that our behavior should not be based on February 14th each year. Embrace the things which drew you together. When you hit those inevitable speed bumps in your life, remember those things to get you on track. Pick up that favorite ice cream or cookie, just because. Keep your date night, but grab something on the way home, put the kids down and have a late candle light dinner. We can view some current movies at home upon release. Grab some popcorn, turn on the sound bar and “Catch a Movie.” These are not creative ideas, just intentional. Never stop dating. It doesn’t matter how long you have been married or just together. If you have gotten lazy with the “I Love You”, incorporate it into your daily dialog. Now I am not assuming that you don’t do all the things above, but sometimes life gets in the way. Again, be intentional. It will go a long way.



Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

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