• Belinda Lane

Discussion: Wait! Did you just judge me?

May 29, 2020


I recently read a story of a woman on a plane. She was returning from a successful business trip and was praying the seat next to her would remain vacant. Within moments a man sit down beside her. He had an odor that caused her to turn her head and put her hand over her nose as she stared out the window.


Once the plane took off and the flight attendant started serving the man signal for the flight attendant and requested an alcoholic drink. The woman became so agitated with the man now on his second drink. She turned and faced the man and inquired if he was okay, not concerned. The man started sobbing and told her he had just buried his daughter. In the story she stated she doesn’t know what took place, but as she held his hand and wept with him she didn’t smell the odor anymore.


Think about the last person you judged. Did you know what season they were in their life? Did you ask with sincerity to find out where they were on their journey in life? I’ve heard people say, “I know exactly what they were thinking.” How can we know definitely what they are thinking when we are standing on the outside? Let’s just think about it. We will immediately say “you can’t tell me what I am feeling.” So true, they can’t and we can’t either.


Some people's life is in unconscious mode. Our lives are on autopilot for too many. It’s like going and coming home from work each day, most are never 100% engaged in the drive. People's attitude can be their escape in not dealing with life. Because they are so driven inside by what you can’t see, they sometime can’t see outside of themselves what you see. We must recognize when we are standing face to face with someone there’s two worlds staring back at each other.


I was having a discussion with one of my sister’s that was for about five minutes or more and as we concluding that practical conversation, one of us said something and there was complete silence. The discussion then went like this “what are you talking about”? “What do you mean, what am I talking about”? “I’m talking about…” “What were you talking about?” We laughed so hard, because we had carried on the conversation for at least five minutes, how ironic is that to agree and give our point of view on what we thought was the same subject, to discover we were each speaking about something different.


When I hear of family members, specifically, who have not communicated for years, I wonder at the time of disconnect what did each hear or see thinking they couldn’t agree. Each departing believing they heard the same as the other. Why was it so tough to disagree and still love? I realize sometimes there need to be a separation and it is better to be apart, but hate shouldn’t be in the separation package.


Wishing someone well and moving on is fine. I suspect that when we move on with judgment in our heart that it creates a weight we carry inside us. A weight is something unfamiliar to our inner self and when we think about or see that person it ignite heaviness, pulling us down.


Think about your internal organs are you constantly conscious of your kidney, heart, liver until something goes wrong. To bring to your attention, your internal self needs your attention. When you see that person or think about that person, maybe something inside of you needs your attention.


Again, we don’t truly know what season of a person’s inner life is in, there are four seasons. When we read scripture that say “love your enemy, bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you,” have you ever just thought why? Why are we asked to forgive the same person repeatedly? Is it just for them or is also to remove the weight we are carrying… it undoubtedly seems like it is for us?


Let’s consider the world differently when confronted with what appears to be not looking or sounding exactly how we expect it should look and sound. I’m not saying we have to accept their opinion, but just mindful to remember it is their opinion. A philosopher once stated, “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”


Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!


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