top of page
  • Writer's pictureBelinda Lane

Discussion: We are approaching ‘Tis the Season to Be…’

November 12, 2021

We are approaching “Tis the Season to be JOLLY”, but not for all. I recognize this after many of the years in the past of working and volunteering in the mental health field. During the time I was working at a specific private psychiatric hospital, we would start pulling records of patients at the same time of the Jolly seasons. The day before Thanksgiving and on into the weekend, we perceived who would check in after their dinner with the family. The same remained true for Christmas. I prayed and I believe I prayed more.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because we gather to gather for love and friendship. No presents, just a day of love. Family and friends bringing and serving their favorite recipe (s). Laughter! The composer Bach Bacharach wrote “What the world needs is love sweet love”, which has been song by many artists. Even the evildoers want to be cared for. Sad!

For eight years, while working at one facility, when given my patients’ lists for my shift, I would go to a secluded place and pray. When getting home that evening, I would pray for the patients I had on my shift. What I came to understand throughout my life, individuals will invariably give you proof they need to be loved. Behavior, for many will show you that behind the smile, there’s an abundance of pain inside. Pain can make you smile and strike at the same time. The saying “what’s in you will come out of you” is true. What throws most off guard is they see the act (ion) and not the intention (s). Entangling them with what they viewed was love. Which count for the many who walked out, their childhood broken, wounded carrying what they masked into their new world. Love should always occur in the home with our parents, our caregivers (those who reared you, but weren’t your biological parent).

Now in our grown-up world, we carry the inner child to the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays each year. For those who follow me, you heard me speak from my platform of “Forgiveness”. Forgiveness helps you to sever the mental pictures there in your head that are communicating your outward conduct. The wrongdoer may never apologize or maybe died, why go on holding them guilty within yourself. The suffering you went through still activating your thoughts. Thoughts which are causing you to miss out on the way of life you can be experiencing. We speak about people who still share the trauma of their early life, not in a therapy session, but in conversation with whoever will listen.

In sharing some of my hurts and painful seasons. The pain wasn’t there because I forgave. I forgave, but realized I guarded my steps in many areas of what was painful. I was still protecting myself and not entirely living. My heart was okay with the ones I forgave. Eventually I realized my action/behavior was still dictating to me DON’T. When we glance around in those places in life, specifically those barren places, what do we see. For everything in our existence, there is a why. Why I’m not married, why am I not measuring up in life, why am I doing this or not doing this… Can you identify your spaces and your why?

I reach out to you and say, don’t let your past steal your tday or your destiny. It has passed. To the shattered heart, let healing in so you can love again, or for the first time. To the one who has lost almost or all of everything, let what happened be a stepping stone to recover or create something new. Every day when you wake up, it means you were to be here today. You may have heard some troublesome news, don’t let it divert your life. Death of a love one can devastate your whole life (trust me, I was there). What saved me was knowing had it been the other way around. I thought about how my love ones would’ve wished me to lead a whole and rewarding life, while carrying their memory in my heart. We’ve lost family and friends in the pandemic; losing businesses and facing financially challenges… yet we are here. Why us! Why us, is because it isn’t over for us. We are still breathing! Life is still calling us to move forward. Let me state that again, Life is still calling us to Move!

We are approaching ‘Tis the Season to Be…

  • Jolly

  • To be Thankful

  • To have Peace of Mind

  • To let a smile from the heart, show up on your face

  • To let go pain, so you can experience genuine love

  • To say I love you to as many family members (especially) and mean it

  • To not isolate

  • To let what is truly inside of you show up

Thank you for joining me for Friday at Sundown. Remember… Just Breathe!

Resources Corner:

Victory Talk on Fridays Her life after the trauma: Jacqueline B. Miller (known as Lady J) shares her story is in her book Mosaics… Subtitle: Made from Beautifully Broken Pieces (this book is a collaboration of six (6) authors sharing their stories).

On the web:

Facebook: @victorytalk or

Twitter: @JackieLadyJ1.

Psychological Trauma

GirlVictorious: Life After Trauma is a blog geared at helping women lead a meaningful, full, and victorious life after going through trauma.

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/an advocate on our website. National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Aid for Military Veterans

In an attempt to cope with the pain of overwhelming emotions, sometimes veterans turn to unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, or substance abuse.

Welcome Home is Celebrate Recovery's (CR) tool to help veterans stuck in hurts, hang-ups, and habits. (These statements are from CR’s Homepage). You are not alone!

Victorious Living Faith: Not Your Traditional Church - Home (Pastor Phillip A. Miller, Sr.)

bottom of page